What’s bothering you today?
I’m worried about looming deadlines, the lack of response on a few important emails I’ve sent, and a family member’s health.
We all have things that bother us or we’re frustrated about. Life happens and things don’t go according to our plans every time, but how we vocalize those frustrations can make a big difference.
Everyone complains, but the key is to avoid turning it into generic whining. We can’t solve generic problems.
"I have too much work to do!"
"This project is never going to end."
"My computer never works when I need it to.”
“Our meetings are not productive.”
"We have so many meetings.”
"This place is a mess."
"We are always running late."
"I can't concentrate with all this noise."
"No one ever listens to me!"
“I don’t feel good.”
These are incredibly generic. What are the solutions to these? 🤷🏻♀️
My favorite (not really) is #10, “I don’t feel good.” I hear that often at home, so when my child says this to me, my automatic response is, “What hurts?” We can’t fix something vague. Once we identify the pain point, we can take steps to remedy it.
You may not have total control over fixing some of your work complaints, such as the number of meetings you have. In those types of situations, determine what you do have control over.
For example, when it comes to meetings, how can you help them be productive and streamlined?
The agenda items
Deciding whose attendance is needed or not needed
The length of the meetings. Not all meetings have to be one hour.
Your attitude when you enter the meeting. Your mood affects those around you
Being specific with our concerns helps us find solutions and builds better communication at work and home. When we’re vague about what’s bothering us, it’s hard for others to know how to help or respond.
How to turn your complaints into productive conversations:
Identify the Specific Issue: Focus on the exact problem you’re experiencing. Instead of saying, “Nothing ever works around here,” identify the reason: “The printer hasn’t been working for two weeks, and it’s affecting my deadlines.”
Suggest a Solution: If possible, think of a way to resolve the issue before bringing it up. “Could we clarify project priorities in our next meeting?” shows that you’re thinking proactively.
Stay Focused on the Issue: Avoid bringing in unrelated complaints. Stick to one problem at a time to prevent the conversation from spiraling into negativity.
When something comes up today that bothers you, challenge yourself to be specific about the issue. You’ll find that people are more willing to listen and collaborate when they understand the problem clearly.
Complaints don’t have to be negative - they can be the starting point for positive change!
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